NO EXCUSES.

The hoarding continues. I was in Babcia's basement looking for scrap fabric I can use to cover a corkboard that I bought for mega-cheap today for my new apartment, and instead I found THIS:

WHAT?!

THAT'S FIVE. COUNT 'EM. FIVE IRONS. WHO NEEDS FIVE IRONS?!
When asked about this one...she said that it's her "favorite iron" and they don't make them anymore. A likely story...

So Justine does her research:

Mhmm... Exactly.

Just what I suspected. Definitely still available. That makes 5 extra irons completely ridiculous.

DabigaTRAN and AcetylJUSTINE,
Justine

You Know You're Getting Old When...

You know you're getting old when you pick up the remote and dial it like a telephone.

I guess it KINDA looks like a remote control...

But the kicker was when one of her best friends called Babcia and made her feel 100% better for what she had previously done, because her friend had DIALED THE MICROWAVE instead of the phone!

Both are hilarrrrious.

Aricept and Exelon,
Justine

Someone doesn't know how to WHISPER!

Babcia and I were in church today, and I spotted a little girl with super tight curly hair. She was adorable!

Her hair looked just like this!

I leaned over to Babcia during Mass:

Me - *whispered* "I would hate to have hair that curly. That has to be crazy to manage."

Babcia - "WELL, WHAT? SHOULD THEY SEND HER BACK?!"

Of course she says half of this once one prayer is over so it's even louder than it was when she was talking during the prayer... I mention to her that she doesn't know how to whisper and that she's really loud when she attempts.

2 minutes later...

Babcia - "WELL YA KNOW YOUR MOM'S HAIR IS ...."

Me - *whispered* "SHHHHH! You can't whisper!"

Unfortunately this isn't Babcia's first assault on the ears while in the church. During Christmas time, there was a small choir that seemed to have formed to sing most of the tunes during the mass. I've been going to this particular church with my family for as long as I can remember and there has NEVER been a choir before. After they were done singing, Babcia leans over:

Babcia - "YA KNOW... THEY AREN'T VERY GOOD..."

Pretty accurate representation. Right down to the ugly Christmas sweaters.

Which of course was said at the very end of a song so therefore everyone heard her. Probably including the choir. I mean, no they weren't the best. They needed a lot of help to be honest. However, I definitely would have saved those kinds of comments until I got out of church!

Aminoglycosides and Amphotericin B,
Justine

This Ain't No Amazon.com!

The influx of crazy amounts of cookbook orders has continued. I'm about ready to pull my hair out. The house has turned into a pseudo-bookstore. People have come here to pick up cookbooks. We have delivered them. Most of them we ship out to everywhere from Arizona to Georgia to Vermont! Fortunately, Babcia has few business expenses in the form of cheap labor (i.e. Wenisa and I work for food and not money.)

Babcia has attempted to take on the role of "Customer Service Associate". I really wish that "all calls will be recorded for training purposes only", because the notes that I find that she has scribbled down, on 15 different pieces of paper, that seem to be hidden throughout the house, is utterly ridiculous. I have gotten a number of checks written out for the wrong amount. People sending their checks to the church instead of the house and then calling asking where their books are, and then multiple people who are addressing their envelopes to our home address but to the church. I don't LIVE at the church. I'm pretty much about to fire her. This many mistakes and inconsistencies with her work is grounds for termination...

I have taken on the role of being the bookkeeper. I don't know how I fell into this role, seeing as I don't know how to even balance my checkbook, but my Excel spreadsheet worked out tonight and perfectly equaled the amount of money we had in cash and checks down to the $0.45.. WINNING? (Is this the proper use of the Charlie Sheen phrase?) I've also taken on the role of secretary/back up Customer Service Associate and troubleshooter. Fixing what issues arise after Babcia has spoken with someone, or taking all of the 18 voicemails and calling everyone back.

Wenisa has taken on the role of the packaging and shipping department. She takes the labels I give her, puts the cookbooks into the mailers and adds the return addresses and labels and tapes everything down. She gives them the final seal of approval... Great job Wenisa!

HERE'S MY QUESTION:
ONE OF THESE THINGS IS NOT LIKE THE OTHER...

What is wrong with this series of pictures?!

Right. And Wenisa and I are working our butts off...and look who's sleepin on the job! TYPICAL!

Lunesta and Ambien,
Justine

Papa-Paparazzzzi!

Babcia has made it. She has reached the fame and fortune that we all desire. She was featured yesterday and today in TWO (count em'... one, TWO!) local papers for her development and involvement of a Polish Recipe Book.

NO JOKE. THE PHONE HAS BEEN RINGING OFF THE HOOK! Between yesterday and today she's had about 40 phone calls for people wanting to purchase these cook books. They're not only local people either, but they're from as far away as Georgia and Utah who are looking to fill their Polish tummies.

Too many phone calls! AHHH!

She has to put her organizational skills to good use now. She has way too many pieces of paper floating around already. She's happy with the "postage stamp" size picture of her that they put in the paper as well.

What a cutie-patoootieee!

She doesn't understand how the article gets online.

"HOW ARE THESE PEOPLE READING ABOUT IT ONLINE?! IT'S IN THE NEWSPAPER!"

 So THAT was a big teachable moment yesterday... online news. But when it went to a different newspaper today and then people were calling saying they saw it online for THAT newspaper, then she couldn't understand that one. *smacks head*

Want a Polish Recipe Book? I removed her number, but I guess just let me know :)

HCTZ and Tums,
Justine

Online Dating.

Did you know this existed?!

Babcia's thoughts on online dating for senior citizens:

Maybe I should get her this book. I find it ironic that they have an "Online Dating" book in print, but I guess... it's more ridiculous that they have a full book on it. ALSO have it for the Kindle.

• I can't even call up Google never mind use Facebook for the thumber, so how would I go online dates?
• I had a wonderful marriage and I really don't need anyone... that just leads to nonsense
• I don't mind lunch, and I don't mind dinner, but I definitely don't want to be dessert!  

 I guess I should just be glad that I just have to routinely reset every single password to Babcia's bank accounts online because she forgets them all and messes them all up, and that I don't have to set up an online dating profile for her... what a nightmare that would be!

Lyrica and Lovenox,
Justine

Don't Worry...

Don't worry. Babcia hasn't lost her edge... She hasn't lost her cool. I've been traveling for the past three weekends and haven't really been home for more than 1-2 days at a time and therefore my encounters with her have been few and far between.

But she DID just buy a GARMIN. So let's see where this one takes us... LITERALLY?

And subsequently couldn't find it today... alotta good that will do for her!

More stories to come soon!

Restoril and Lunesta Lovins, (I'm tired...)
Justine